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"I’m Step-hen Eat-wad Bud-row, the secret, unpaid star from the hit show South Park from South Park, Colorado. I’m an elementary school dropout and all-around cool guy. I have a bachelor’s degree in a field that doesn't exist, but I made it in crayon. I’m also the 3rd best at Karaoke in the room, depending on the room. " -Seb
I do all the writing and voice all the characters in my first South Park scene. Does Cartman notice?
S.E.B. Southpark Pyramids
Stephen: “Hello, this is my first time working with an audio crew. I’m Step-hen Eat-wad Bud-row, the secret, unpaid star from the hit show South Park, and I’m from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, but live in South Park, Colorado, United States of America or Merica for short. I’m an elementary school dropout and all-around cool guy. I have a bachelor’s degree in a field that doesn't exist; I made it in crayon. I’m also the 3rd best at Karaoke in the whole room, depending on the room. It gets weird when I’m by myself. My parents brought me to Egypt, and I’m sweating my balls off at the pyramids. Oh, I just got a call from my best bro, Cartman.”
Step-hen: – “Hello?”
Cartman: “Stteeeeppp-hhheeennnn what’s up?”
Steph-hen: “Cartman, you won’t believe it, but I’m at the pyramids! I feel like an ancient pharaoh. I got some sand, magically made it wet with my mind, the same way I do it to Vay Jay Jays by spit, and made my first pyramid piece.”
Cartman: “Yeah, Step-hen, but you’re like a ‘pharaoh of failure,’ that’s why you aren’t put on camera. Just don’t try to build anything like that fart blanket fort you built at your last ambiguous gay sleepover we had.”
Step-hen: “One sec, Cartman, Mom, can you get me a blanket that will cover all these pyramids? “
Felachia: “No, there too big Snoopy-kins.”
Stephen: “What do you mean they’re too big? I can put my hand up and cover them!”
Felachia: “No snoopy-kins”
Stephen: “I’m back, and I’m not promising that; I build amazing farts.”
Carman: “Do you think aliens built the pyramids?”
Steph-hen: “Nah, Cartman, they were built by people who didn’t have video games to distract them.”
Cartman: “Well, if I were in charge, I’d have built them with a drive-through.”
Step-hen: “Cartman, do you think I will find a mummy here that I could celebrate Mother's Day properly with?” A fully grown mummy, with a fully developed mummy needs?”
Cartmen: “I hope not. The last thing I need is another curse. I’ve got enough problems with my mom and your mom after last Mother's Day.”
Step-hen: “Yeah, your mom and I get along, but my mom doesn’t like you for making her all those cheesy poofs in front of you. That’s your own fault; we agreed to meet the grown needs of grown women.”
Cartmen: “MOM! Do you like Step-hen?”.
Liane: “I do poopy-kins. Tell Step-hen I do. “
Carmen: “Step-hen, my mom says I do.”
Step-hen: “I’ll take a bow to that Cartman, tell her I do as well.”
Cartman: “Why?”
Step-hen: “Oh, never mind. Instead, tell her that my mom is getting me a peach to eat for hours.”
Cartmen: “MOM! Step-hen is getting a peach to eat for hours.”
Liane: “I’m going to take a shower, Poopykins.”
Cartmen: “I don’t know why I would tell my mom that. I hope you don’t find a mummy; you have enough mummies. If you were a pharaoh, what would your pyramid look like?”
Step-hen: “Probably like a giant pizza slice, no two, two slices of pizza, one upside down under the sand and another one face up on top of it.”
Cartman: “That’s the only pyramid I’d ever want to visit.”
Step-hen: “Cartman do you think my mom will get us a camel ride?”
Cartman: “Only if the camel can handle the shame of you on it and is strong enough to carry your mom’s awesomeness.”
Step-hen: “I got to go, tell Kenny I’m sorry I missed his funeral.”
Cartman: “Kenny’s not dead?!?”
Steph-en: “Bud-row, out.”
I do all the writing and voice all the characters, do you catch it?
S.E.B. South Park Farting Rainbow
Step-hen: (In his mind) Mr. Rainbow?!?! This guy annoys me; I can miss one call, it’s not a big deal. I’m not answering this phone call; I’m invisible. I’m being sneaky, like Cartman’s mom told me to be. The sound is off, so I’m undetectable. I am sensing a seriously confusing infection forming. I was just curious about this guy’s stressful demeanour. Why am I so turned on?
Phan-tom Pooper: (In his mind) Someone must be trying to call me, I didn’t realize the sound was off. Why won’t my special unit come to attention? It's been 45 minutes, last time I took 10 Viagra, I had a super unit. I’m in the delta hover astern, and I’m holding my position.
Mr. Hankey: “Hiiiiideeeey hoe Step-hen and Phan-tom Pooper. If you don’t answer your phone…(interrupted)”
Phan-tom Pooper: “How is my white chocolate rosé starfish talking?”
Mr. Hankey: “Stay focused, Thomas. Things are speeding up; we’re about to go Mach 3. When we reach Mach 3, there’s no time to think - you think you're dead. Thinking leads to blood. Don’t let the shame take over. Being quiet and letting this happen is the only way, yeah. I’m going to have an outrageous experience with your eyes, ears and senses. Step-hen, you're my sponsor at risk taking anonymous. I am at half a foot altitude and am about to go skydiving without a parachute. Please talk me out of it. I have kids with me in the aircraft. Please push me back from this risk I’m about to take. Thomas, don’t worry, it’s going to feel like it happened either way, I won’t make a liar out of you.”
Step-hen: “I see your engines are lubricated what ever your name is. You have my permission, I promise I’ll turn to the right if you face the other way that will put you at 160 degrees on my right hand side, I will rainbow fart giving you analtheripist winds of 20 kts while simultaneously lubricating my engines.”
Phan-tom Pooper: “Those are green analtherispist winds. I’m not doing that. I do have the upper hand, though. I can see we both have power, but the fact of the matter is you’re at the bottom, and I’m ready to pitch. I’m usually in the closet but I find myself confused and exposed.”
Step-hen: “I have reviewed Sierra, Hotel, India, Tango, Sierra (S.H.I.T.S)., and it is legal for you to come on my deck even though you don’t want to. I’m the stranger of the watch, and I have charge of the situation.”
Phan-tom Pooper: “I can’t hold much longer”, you might be the stranger of the watch but I am not on you, I am the commander at altitude, I can’t believe I’m about to do this I don’t even know you but I am sure I don’t like you.”
Mr. Hankey: “You shouldn’t like him; that gets you both the upside of an unconsensual union with none of the downside, and after reviewing the math, it equals out to be on the down low. My sponsor is subordinate to the commander of his unit, call sign V.”
Step-hen: “Mr. Rainbow? What is the point of an iPhone if you can appear when I am enjoying my favourite hobby and want some privacy…”
Mr. Hankey: “Why do you think I asked you to be my sponsor? You have the power to push me back to reality.
Phan-tom Pooper: “I’m still holding… still holding... I am at the decision point, I am ordering you to do it.”
Step-hen: “Me or Mr. Rainbow?”.
Phan-tom: Pooper: “Who is Mr. Rainbow?”
Mr. Hankey: “I am Mr. Hankey, and Mr. Rainbow, I didn’t want to get exposed and put a dent in either of your experiences. Call me two-face, its what I do when it’s not Christmas time. I sense that I’m going to be exposed; I can’t swim.
Step-hen: “Mr. Rainbow, let me know when you're opening the back door. Everybody in the sitting position turn to the right on the signal and makes eye contact with anyone looking at you that you see…”
Mr. Hankey: “I want to have an enjoyable time skydiving or get pushed back to reality and live to fight another day. I desperately want some excitement in my boring life, but I have kids and am having second thoughts. The door is open, Step-hen.”
Stephen: “I am so turned on at the thought of dominating Two-Face. I’m trying to have a moment with a special person who is about to do something hazardous; I am willing to prevent him from skydiving by risking a serious, confusing infection; he could die and leave his kids with no father figure for Christmas. I have a duty, I must please your booty.”
Phan-tom Pooper: “I’m arriving through the back door, I couldn’t hold it.”
Step-hen: “Goodbye, Mr. Hankey. My name is Cartman Kenny, and I am erasing my memory about this as soon as I leave, so I’ll deny it if you tell on me.”
Bud-row, out.
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